This baby was sent...

I went into the doctor to have a biopsy done...checking for cervical cancer. I was 13 weeks pregnant with our 5th child. We couldn't find a heartbeat before the procedure, so the doctor ordered us to go get a sonogram after the biopsy.

Can I just pause here and say that I was quite nervous about the procedure due to my inability to cope with pain, and I was petitioning the Lord for Him to be my anesthesia. I want you to know that they made 2 cuts and I did feel pressure, but no pain. In fact, when they did the 2nd one, I did not feel it at all. The Lord totally took care of it. Thank you Father!

Anyway, we went down to sonogram and there was no heartbeat...no blood flow...but the Lord spoke to me. I heard the words, "This baby was sent to save your life." Tears rolled down my face as I whispered "Thank You Lord." As we walked out of that room there was a sense of knowing that this baby's mission was completed, and now he/she is with the Lord, praising God for all eternity. I felt impressed to write this poem:

SENT
Walking through the path of life,
standing firm in the faith,
Four little ones running around,
And another is on the way.

Doctor says we have to run tests,
that cancer is lurking around,
Lord how I need you,
Thinking of this life inside of me now.

I was supposed to take care of this months before,
time marched on as I waited,
Lord, not my will but Yours,
now things are quite complicated,

At the doctor, we heard the bad news,
Lord, I don't want this baby to die,
Where is the heartbeat, where is the blood flow,
Oh God, no God, why?

And then I heard…

This baby was sent to save your life,
Mission completed,
Your life restored,
Oh, how I love you,
For it is finished,
I sacrificed this life for yours.

Here in the manger, holding Him closely,
I can’t believe how beautiful He is,
Look at His fingers, look at his eyes,
Lord, I’m overjoyed at this Gift.

I know it’ll be a long road, but I know you’ll be with me.
There’s so much that I won’t understand.
Lord, make me strong to endure to the end,
For my baby has grown to a man.

At the cross now, I know the bad news,
Lord, I don't want my baby to die,
How sweet does His heart beat,
and now His blood flows,
Oh God, no God, why?

And then Mary heard…

My baby was sent to save your life,
Mission completed,
Your life restored,
Oh, how I love you,
For it is finished,
I sacrificed His life for yours.