When a smile is a rainbow

Have you ever laughed and cried at the same time? Yesterday, our 2 year old was crying hysterically at I-don't-remember-what. She was wailing, tears rolling down her cheeks...I ended up fixing the problem very fast and she began laughing. Her wails from the crying turned into the sound of laughter. Right then I looked at her and thought...a rainbow. There she was laughing while her eyes were still welled up with tears, one or two still escaped down her cheek. I thought that is just like a rainbow, for it only comes out when the sun shines through the rain. My daughter's smile was like a rainbow through her tears. She had forgotten her sadness and was rejoicing.

When God gave us the very first rainbow during the flood with Noah, of course it served as a reminder to mankind that He would never again destroy the Earth with a flood. But even deeper than that, think of the emotions the Lord must have felt during the time that rainbow was visible to Noah and his family, the only people alive on the planet. What if the Lord just reminisced for a minute while the first rainbow was formed. He might have remembered His righteous anger at the sin-sick world. The disgust He must have felt toward the human race. He might have remembered how Noah responded at the command to build this massive boat, which took about 70 years or more to build. And maybe he would have been humored a little when He called all of the animals to come to the boat and to see Noah and the family's response watching in awe. But what about those who died in the flood? As the Lord remembered them, I'm sure a deep mourning and sadness welled up inside. He knew each of them and loved each of them with the same love He has for you and me now. How it must have broken His heart to bring that rain and know the fate of their eternity...what a weight...what a sad day for the Lord. At the same time feeling such sadness for those lost, but such unexplainable joy and happiness for those who chose to heed the warnings of the coming rain.

The rainbow it came as a promise. A promise produced by the sun pressing through the rain...and on the Lord's face, a smile pressing through His pain.

A Get-Away

Terry and I have just celebrated our 8th anniversary. It was so great, we went to Prayer Lake. We've always talked about going away on a short trip for each anniversary, but with it being December it just always seemed to slip by. But now with 4 little ones and a hectic life there is just not much alone time. Our conversations usually occur over a rumbling of voices and almost every one of the conversations get interrupted at least 3 times! This is the truth.

I absolutely love this bench! I also really, really like this roof.

At first it was weird that there were no little bodies pulling on us, or expressing a need repeatedly, or spilling something, or wetting their pants, or emptying a cabinet, or arguing over a toy, or bleeding. We looked at each other and pondered what did we used to do before we had kids?!

The trip was just so great. Terry and I haven't talked so much since we were first married. It's not that we didn't desire to or try to, it's just life with little ones. The trip was so needed and I really sensed the Lord revitalizing our realationship while we were there. Thank you to all who helped watch our kids, we know the Lord will bless your lives.

This baby was sent...

I went into the doctor to have a biopsy done...checking for cervical cancer. I was 13 weeks pregnant with our 5th child. We couldn't find a heartbeat before the procedure, so the doctor ordered us to go get a sonogram after the biopsy.

Can I just pause here and say that I was quite nervous about the procedure due to my inability to cope with pain, and I was petitioning the Lord for Him to be my anesthesia. I want you to know that they made 2 cuts and I did feel pressure, but no pain. In fact, when they did the 2nd one, I did not feel it at all. The Lord totally took care of it. Thank you Father!

Anyway, we went down to sonogram and there was no heartbeat...no blood flow...but the Lord spoke to me. I heard the words, "This baby was sent to save your life." Tears rolled down my face as I whispered "Thank You Lord." As we walked out of that room there was a sense of knowing that this baby's mission was completed, and now he/she is with the Lord, praising God for all eternity. I felt impressed to write this poem:

SENT
Walking through the path of life,
standing firm in the faith,
Four little ones running around,
And another is on the way.

Doctor says we have to run tests,
that cancer is lurking around,
Lord how I need you,
Thinking of this life inside of me now.

I was supposed to take care of this months before,
time marched on as I waited,
Lord, not my will but Yours,
now things are quite complicated,

At the doctor, we heard the bad news,
Lord, I don't want this baby to die,
Where is the heartbeat, where is the blood flow,
Oh God, no God, why?

And then I heard…

This baby was sent to save your life,
Mission completed,
Your life restored,
Oh, how I love you,
For it is finished,
I sacrificed this life for yours.

Here in the manger, holding Him closely,
I can’t believe how beautiful He is,
Look at His fingers, look at his eyes,
Lord, I’m overjoyed at this Gift.

I know it’ll be a long road, but I know you’ll be with me.
There’s so much that I won’t understand.
Lord, make me strong to endure to the end,
For my baby has grown to a man.

At the cross now, I know the bad news,
Lord, I don't want my baby to die,
How sweet does His heart beat,
and now His blood flows,
Oh God, no God, why?

And then Mary heard…

My baby was sent to save your life,
Mission completed,
Your life restored,
Oh, how I love you,
For it is finished,
I sacrificed His life for yours.