My husband just finished reading "The Five Love Languages," and he's learning more about my love language...quality time. I have lately been feeling a little "yuck" emotionally and just needing some good QT with him, but with a house of 6 little ones, when the house is finally quiet, he is so tired.
We went berry picking in our woods yesterday and he tried spending time with me here and there, and even today, but I just felt empty. It was like no matter what he did, it just wasn't enough. If I could have anything I wanted, I don't even know what I would ask for...nothing was making me satisfied. I felt so selfish and like I was sucking the fun out of my own life.
Tonight, as we were talking, he fell asleep. I started to get my feelings hurt, but I put on some worship music and got with Jesus. The song "Embrace This Place" by Among Thorns was playing. And part of the lyrics say, "Draw me near to your heart, Let me lay my head on your chest, place my hands in yours, look at me face to face" and I realized that Jesus LONGS for us to spend quality time with him. Way more than I could long for my own husbands attention and total interest, Jesus wants to be with me. And he won't turn me away, he won't fall asleep, he won't be too busy.
So tonight, I had a great time with Jesus...loving on Him and being filled up. I was trying to get from my husband what only Jesus could give me. He alone satisfies.
When our emotions begin to ebb and flow due to other peoples actions, we will find ourselves unstable, unable to maintain joy, and walking in the "never enough" realm. This happens when we look to others to give us what only Jesus can. And we need to be cautioned about getting stuck in the rut of "I'll be happy when..." The cure? Time with the Master. The One who is All and Who is in all. The One who is closer than our next breath. The One who is a well spring of Life, He never runs out of what we need.
