When a smile is a rainbow

Have you ever laughed and cried at the same time? Yesterday, our 2 year old was crying hysterically at I-don't-remember-what. She was wailing, tears rolling down her cheeks...I ended up fixing the problem very fast and she began laughing. Her wails from the crying turned into the sound of laughter. Right then I looked at her and thought...a rainbow. There she was laughing while her eyes were still welled up with tears, one or two still escaped down her cheek. I thought that is just like a rainbow, for it only comes out when the sun shines through the rain. My daughter's smile was like a rainbow through her tears. She had forgotten her sadness and was rejoicing.

When God gave us the very first rainbow during the flood with Noah, of course it served as a reminder to mankind that He would never again destroy the Earth with a flood. But even deeper than that, think of the emotions the Lord must have felt during the time that rainbow was visible to Noah and his family, the only people alive on the planet. What if the Lord just reminisced for a minute while the first rainbow was formed. He might have remembered His righteous anger at the sin-sick world. The disgust He must have felt toward the human race. He might have remembered how Noah responded at the command to build this massive boat, which took about 70 years or more to build. And maybe he would have been humored a little when He called all of the animals to come to the boat and to see Noah and the family's response watching in awe. But what about those who died in the flood? As the Lord remembered them, I'm sure a deep mourning and sadness welled up inside. He knew each of them and loved each of them with the same love He has for you and me now. How it must have broken His heart to bring that rain and know the fate of their eternity...what a weight...what a sad day for the Lord. At the same time feeling such sadness for those lost, but such unexplainable joy and happiness for those who chose to heed the warnings of the coming rain.

The rainbow it came as a promise. A promise produced by the sun pressing through the rain...and on the Lord's face, a smile pressing through His pain.

A Get-Away

Terry and I have just celebrated our 8th anniversary. It was so great, we went to Prayer Lake. We've always talked about going away on a short trip for each anniversary, but with it being December it just always seemed to slip by. But now with 4 little ones and a hectic life there is just not much alone time. Our conversations usually occur over a rumbling of voices and almost every one of the conversations get interrupted at least 3 times! This is the truth.

I absolutely love this bench! I also really, really like this roof.

At first it was weird that there were no little bodies pulling on us, or expressing a need repeatedly, or spilling something, or wetting their pants, or emptying a cabinet, or arguing over a toy, or bleeding. We looked at each other and pondered what did we used to do before we had kids?!

The trip was just so great. Terry and I haven't talked so much since we were first married. It's not that we didn't desire to or try to, it's just life with little ones. The trip was so needed and I really sensed the Lord revitalizing our realationship while we were there. Thank you to all who helped watch our kids, we know the Lord will bless your lives.

This baby was sent...

I went into the doctor to have a biopsy done...checking for cervical cancer. I was 13 weeks pregnant with our 5th child. We couldn't find a heartbeat before the procedure, so the doctor ordered us to go get a sonogram after the biopsy.

Can I just pause here and say that I was quite nervous about the procedure due to my inability to cope with pain, and I was petitioning the Lord for Him to be my anesthesia. I want you to know that they made 2 cuts and I did feel pressure, but no pain. In fact, when they did the 2nd one, I did not feel it at all. The Lord totally took care of it. Thank you Father!

Anyway, we went down to sonogram and there was no heartbeat...no blood flow...but the Lord spoke to me. I heard the words, "This baby was sent to save your life." Tears rolled down my face as I whispered "Thank You Lord." As we walked out of that room there was a sense of knowing that this baby's mission was completed, and now he/she is with the Lord, praising God for all eternity. I felt impressed to write this poem:

SENT
Walking through the path of life,
standing firm in the faith,
Four little ones running around,
And another is on the way.

Doctor says we have to run tests,
that cancer is lurking around,
Lord how I need you,
Thinking of this life inside of me now.

I was supposed to take care of this months before,
time marched on as I waited,
Lord, not my will but Yours,
now things are quite complicated,

At the doctor, we heard the bad news,
Lord, I don't want this baby to die,
Where is the heartbeat, where is the blood flow,
Oh God, no God, why?

And then I heard…

This baby was sent to save your life,
Mission completed,
Your life restored,
Oh, how I love you,
For it is finished,
I sacrificed this life for yours.

Here in the manger, holding Him closely,
I can’t believe how beautiful He is,
Look at His fingers, look at his eyes,
Lord, I’m overjoyed at this Gift.

I know it’ll be a long road, but I know you’ll be with me.
There’s so much that I won’t understand.
Lord, make me strong to endure to the end,
For my baby has grown to a man.

At the cross now, I know the bad news,
Lord, I don't want my baby to die,
How sweet does His heart beat,
and now His blood flows,
Oh God, no God, why?

And then Mary heard…

My baby was sent to save your life,
Mission completed,
Your life restored,
Oh, how I love you,
For it is finished,
I sacrificed His life for yours.

Feeding the animals

Today we went to feed the animals at a wildlife refuge. We road on a covered wagon while all of the animals came to eat the 5 gal bucket of feed we bought. It was lots of fun, Judah (1) kept trying to eat the animal feed and get in the bucket. Jessie (6) did a great job of feeding the bulls with super long tongues and lots of spit. They would open their mouths and you just pour it in! I'll post pix later! I played tug of war with one of the caribou (I think) who tried to steal my cup. Ethan (4) and Sydney (2) both loved it as well.

While we were there, I was reminded so much of the creativity of the Lord. He is so creative. The girraffes were beautiful and tall. I always knew they were tall, but standing right next to one having it eat from your hand, brought it all into perspective. There markings were just perfect, how does He do that? Then the camels, the zebras, all of them, the Lord created each one unique. He is amazing.

Your life is not your own

Dear Kids,
It wasn't until I began to have you guys, that the scripture that says, "Your life is not your own..." 1 Cor. 6:19,20 totally came to life for me. I realize that my life belongs to you right now and it will for many years. And while you are young, you are needing a lot, and it is demanding, but I would not give it up for the world.

That scripture in Corinthians means that when you give your life to Jesus, when you surrender your wants, desires, dreams, to His Way and His Will, that is called giving your life to God. And your life is really not yours, you give your life to Him. The next part of the scripture tells us why our life does not belong to us. It says this: "You were bought with a price." God purchased each of you with the life of His Son so that you don't get what you deserve. We all deserve to go to Hell because of the sin in our lives. "All fall short of God's glorious standard" Romans 3:23 But when we surrender to the Lord, he gives us what we don't deserve...an eternity with Him in Heaven. Thank you Lord. I love you guys!

Why this blog?

I wanted to start this blog so that I could have a record of the journey of my family's life together. I really want it to be something my kids will be able to read one day about all the crazy and wonderful things that happened to them while growing up. Also, I want it to be just another way of sharing my walk with the Lord with them. Life isn't always easy, Jesus never promised it to be, infact, He said "count the cost" Luke 14:28 of following him.

I don't get much time to journal which was the original plan, but I thought a blog would be better since it's not paper and it will always be here.

I have 4 kids ages 6 and under and I am pregnant with number 5.

Life is always active. Sometimes crazy, most of the time fun. Hardly ever quiet. Always meeting needs.

Getting Started

Just a test page to see if this thing works since I don't know what I am doing!